Tom Hanks Might Come To My Hometown……Poor Guy

tom hanks

My small ass hometown where the only thing to do on a Friday night is get drunk in the middle of an almond orchard and engage in some HPV collecting activities might have pulled off bringing Tom Hanks to the high school for homecoming in October. He announced on Facebook this afternoon that he had festivities planned for the homecoming in response to a social media campaign Kerman high school students orchestrated using the hashtag #‎tomhanks2kermanhc‬.

tom hanks 2

Kerman has a population of about 14,000 and is in the middle of nowhere surrounded by fields, orchards, and the tangy scent of pesticides and fertilizer in the air. My entire family (mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins) all graduated from Kerman high. Some even made it through without getting knocked up! The biggest thing to happen to the town thus far was a few years back when a Walmart was built. According to my pops the saddest day was when the honky-tonk got shut down in the 80’s. I kept it ultra fancy and moved 10 miles east to Fresno  in 2004, but most of my family still lives there. Granted Tom didn’t say anything about showing up, just that he had festivities planed. If he does show up he can crash on my grandmas couch, but he might have some trouble falling asleep with the sounds of coyotes, frogs, and mariachi music.

*Boring side note* After all that crap I just talked I really do love my little home town. My favorite people in the world are from there (Like me, I’m awesome!) and I am really proud they were able to pull this off. With that said now no one can give me dirty looks at the family reunion for trash talking K-town.

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